“The rich,” writes University of Maryland professor Michael Olmert, “have terrific leverage over history.” Where they live and the things they own “dominate what we know about the past simply because the good things outlast the vernacular and the ephemeral,” he writes in his book Milton’s Teeth and Ovid’s Umbrella.

“Graffiti defeats that at a stroke,” he adds, “hitchhiking on the walls of the good to bring an alternative past to light.”

Nowhere in eastern Idaho is that democratic sentiment more evident than a chilly, dusty, graffiti filled lava tube buried under a sunburnt field peppered with brown shards of broken beer bottles. Over the past few decades, graffiti artists have layered 17-Mile Cave’s basalt walls with names, dates, pictures, love notes.

And monsters. My son’s favorite.

Colloquially enough, 17-Mile Cave is located just 400 feet to the south of U.S. Highway 20, about 17 miles west of downtown Idaho Falls, Idaho, at a spot marked by the Idaho historical marker “Elephant Hunters.” Explorers can park either at the marker pullout or along the dirt road that circles a dimple in the landscape to the south. In that dimple is the cave’s entrance.

The cave’s location, size, and makeup make it an excellent place to pique the interest of would be speleologists, no matter how young. Michelle and I took our three children – Liam, age 7, Lexie, 5, and Isaac, 2 ½, to the cave for their first spelunking adventure.

Of course, given the nature of children (especially literal minded five year olds who believe their mothers when they say to let Dad go first into the cave, breathing cold air like a massive refrigerator, to check for bears) their first adventure does not proceed without tears. No more than a dozen yards in from the cave’s entrance, our younger two already want out. My wife Michelle obligingly takes them out while Liam and I proceed deeper into the cave. (Later, on the way home, Michelle further illustrates our daughter’s literal mind set with this story: “I told Lexie to put her flashlight on the ground so she could see the rocks as we were walking out,” she said. Instead of pointing the light to the ground, Alexia literally put the flashlight down and walked away from it. Mom quickly set her straight.)

Inside the cave, Liam and I walk on, he leading the way, his flashlight sending an errant circle of light randomly about the walls, floor, and ceiling.

The cave is an easy hiking experience, with the entrance being the most difficult aspect. Adults and tall children have to duck and clamber down a short series of natural lava rock steps – a distance of not more than 12 feet – before the cave opens up enough for standing. From there, it’s a walk of only about a half-mile to the cave’s end, with ducking required only in two additional short stretches. As the cave does not branch, there’s no chance of getting lost, though it is absolutely dark inside when out of sight of the entrance. This is due mainly to a natural rock fall followed by the cave’s single major twist which quickly conceals the entrance and the light that enters the cave. For the most part, the cave is about a dozen yards wide and easily ten feet tall, though there is one chamber where the cave widens to at least twenty yards wide and easily thirty feet tall – enough room for an impromptu football game, if you’ve brought enough light.

No, no lava, son.

“How long is it?”

Long enough, son.

“Is the cave going to fall in on us?”

It better not. Your Mom would get mad at me if it did.

“What happens if we turn off our flashlights?”

Try it.

He does. For about two seconds, we’re enveloped in darkness so utter no tent built of blankets and bits of wood by a seven year old hoping to sleep under the stars will ever match it.

He turns his light on again and shines it on me. “I thought I lost my Dad,” he says. “But there you are.”

“Are there monsters, Dad?” In addition to the bears, I joke the cave is home to the wookalar, my favorite movie monster.

Let’s find out, I tell him.

Just past the Echo Chamber – my name for the cave’s largest room, although I’m not sure, in twenty five years of visiting this cave, if any of the features have official names – the ceiling on the left dips again to within three feet of the floor. Long ago, some vivid imagination saw a monster mouth and eyes – somewhat resembling a brontosaurus – gaping out of that formation. So they painted the rock to add a little definition to their imagination.

“Monster face!” my son shout-whispers, as I shine the light on the monster’s neon painted features. (Some dedicated souls retouch the paint every year, ensuring the monster’s vivid leer is there for future cave goers.)

He holds his own light up, blinding the monster in case it decides to come to life. The fog from his breath catches in the beam. “Monster smoke!” he whispers. The monster smoke, at least this time around, is pretty thick, puffing around in underground clouds whether we’re breathing or not. It shows up in pictures, giving the sparkling rock, flashlit faces, and luminous paint an even eerier feeling as we clamber around underground.

The monster is the least of the cave’s graffiti. Scrawled on the walls are messages from previous cave dwellers, ranging from the mundane “Stop Graffiti,” “EXIT” (with arrows pointing in opposite directions), and “Dyslexicz of Idaho Untie!” to the amusing “Abandon Hope Ye Who Enter Here” to the artfully cryptic “Being the Adventures of One Uther Smith,” accompanied by a drawing of a pale, somber, goateed youth. Uther is, of course, up to date. He comes with his own URL:

http://www.bluebarnhouse.org/wordpress/links

He’s a freshly printed comic book hero, introduced to the world in the spring of 2007 at the San Francisco Center for the Book.

“The story is deeply rooted in that region of Idaho,” says Brandon Mise, a former Idaho Falls resident who penned the comic with illustrator John Murphy and colorist Nye Wright. “I wanted folks from there to know that they are soon to have a local hero they can root for.” The comic – though set in Pocatello – relies heavily on easily recognizable Idaho Falls locales.

While researching locations for the comic – set partially on Mise’s uncle’s local potato farm – the trio found out about the cave “and went back the next day, armed with a backpack full of spray paint,” Mise explains.

So everyone enjoys 17-Mile Cave. Except my youngest son and daughter, of course. But they’re young yet. This place gets attention, even from some North Carolina-based authors indulging in a bit of literal underground advertising in a freaking cold cave on the edge of the Lost River desert. What future historians may make of that is anyone’s guess.

Things to bring: Jackets. Even in the hottest weather, jackets are a must. The cave is very cool. Flashlights. One per person, so even the youngest can have his or her own pool of light to shine on the floor, walls, and ceiling. Sturdy shoes. While the cave can be damp due to snowmelt, the big hazard here is toes stubbed on rocks embedded in the cave floor. The dirt floor is uneven in spots and is pocked with small sinkholes and crisscrossed with shallow gullies.

Time factor: Driving from Idaho Falls, about 15 minutes. Making the hike, about 30 minutes.

Hiking tip: Shortly past the Monster Face, the property owner has dug two shallow pits to collect water that oozes into the cave. As the cave ends just past the pools, it’s wise to turn around before the pools tempt anyone to throw rocks or fall in.

A note for would be graffiti artists: I want it noted here I do not advocate graffiti, certainly not in this cave. Those who go to this cave need to know it’s on private property and that the property owner has been very kind over the years to allow people to clamber into his natural basement, paint cans in hand or no. But since the walls are covered in graffiti, I write about it. In penance, whenever I go there, I take a garbage bag and clean up some of the debris other cave dwellers leave behind.

More photos: More photos of this wonderful cave are available on Brian's personal Uncharted profile at:

http://www.uncharted.net/MisterFweem/profile

If you'd like to buy a copy of one of these photos, check out Uncharted's SmugMug store:

http://uncharted.smugmug.com/gallery/7865445_gpyWL#509876211_ekZXp